In your Home Learning packs, we gave you six writing tasks to do at home.
Once you have finished one of your writing tasks, take a break and then come back to it to proofread it. When you are proofreading, look for missing punctuation and spelling mistakes, as well as ways to make it better with interesting adjectives and thinking about the use of conjunctions in your sentence structure.
Then, type it up on here to share your best writing with all your friends! Ms O’Neill, Ms C and I will be able to read your writing as well. We can’t wait to see all the exciting things you have written. Here are the writing tasks if you need reminding:
* Some of you have sent me your writing in picture form. It has been wonderful to read them, but please can you share them on the blog so that others can see them too and then I can give you some feedback. If you have written a very long piece, then you can just share your favourite paragraph. Thank you!*
Writing Task 3:
Dear people!
From now on adults have to do homework and children don’t. Adults have to go to school except the Queen. Adults have to do what their children say. Only teachers are not going to school.
Vegetables are going to be unhealthy and sweets are going to be healthy.
If you want you can watch TV or play games on the iPad (for example Busythings or a TV programme).
So follow these rules!
Greetings,
your Queen.
Well done! Some interesting rules Sophia! I’m glad you have remembered to use correct punctuation in your letter. You’ve used ‘and’ and ‘or’ as a conjunction to write longer sentences, can you use ‘because’ to extend a sentence and give a reason for your new rule?
Dear Miss Carruthers,
Here is my rule with ‘because’:
Children are allowed to read their books as long as they want in the evening because they can get up in the morning whenever they wish.
Regards,
Sophia
That is a very good rule! Well done for using because.
Dear Diary, today my best friend Jesus was on a young donkey and everyone had green palms. They waved the palms excitedly at Jesus and the donkey. He was never used before but now Jesus used him.
Dear Diary, today it was the Last Supper. Jesus said sadly to us this is my Last Supper with you my loyal disciples. This bread is my body and this wine is my blood. You will drink it and remember me when you do. Because he was going to die and he knew it.
Dear Diary , today Jesus died on the cross. The soldiers came and took him. They made him wear a spiky crown of thorns and carry the heavy wooden cross. They nailed him to the cross and he died. It is a sad and dark day but I know God is going to help.
Dear Diary I was right. God helped Jesus to rise from the dead in the tomb. The bright yellow Angels came too. Mary was so happy that he was alive!
Well done Sophia! You’ve included lots of different adjectives to make your writing more exciting to read. Try not to start a sentence with ‘because’. Can you re-write your final sentence from your second diary entry to fix this?
You will drink it and remember me when you do. He said this because he knew he was going to die soon.
Brilliant – well done Sophia.
Wow everyone I am really enjoying reading your writing tasks. Keep it up so I can have some more to read.
If you fancy somewhere natural to visit, I would recommend you to go to Snowdon mountain in Wales . It is a perfect place for hiking and rock climbing. Snowdon is the highest mountain in Wales. It takes you three hours to climb up to the top. At the top it is really cold and rocky, but the view is amazing! It makes you feel like you are on top of the sky.
I’d love to visit Snowdon, I can imagine it would be a wonderful feeling when you get to the top.
Could you include a sentence using ‘because’ to extend your sentences?
I too would love to visit Snowdon Sophie. Have you been there or are you hoping to one day?
Some of you have sent me your writing in picture form. It has been wonderful to read them, but please can you share them on the blog so that others can see them too and then I can give you some feedback. If you have written a very long piece, then you can just share your favourite paragraph.
Dear Miss Carruthers,
Below my task 1 assignment.
Dear Diary,
On Sunday, Jesus arrived in Jerusalem on a soft grey donkey. I saw hundreds of people welcoming Jesus saying “ Hosanna the King has come!” Then we went to the temple. Jesus was upset because he saw people selling animals and furniture. He said “my home will be called a house of prayer.”
Dear Diary,
On Thursday evening we shared a special meal all together. While we were eating, Jesus broke the bread and shared it with us and said: “ Take this and eat it. This is my body.” Then he took a cup and said: “Drink from it, all of you. This is my blood.” Then we went to a gloomy garden. There Jesus asked us to say a prayer but we all fell asleep! Jesus woke us up, I saw someone come and kiss Jesus on the cheek. Then soldiers came to arrest him and we all ran away.
Dear Diary,
On Friday, we heard that Jesus was going to die. I felt very sad and upset. I saw Jesus hung on the cross. Mary and Joseph were crying. The soldiers were laughing and making fun of him. Suddenly, I heard Jesus saying: “it is finished” and he died. My friends carried him to the tomb.
Dear Diary,
On Sunday I went to the tomb and I saw an angel! It told me that Jesus was alive. I felt overjoyed so I told my friends the good news.
Well done Marie. You’ve managed to carefully retell all the events in Holy Week, using speech marks to show what Jesus would say and even include some of your feelings.
You have managed to use lots of conjunctions in some of your days, but could you include some in your Friday sentences to make the sentences a bit longer.
Dear Miss Carruthers,
Thank you for your comments. Below another try.
Dear Diary,
On Friday I heard that Jesus was going to die and I felt very sad and upset. I saw Jesus hung on the cross and Mary and Joseph were crying. The soldiers were laughing and making fun of him. Suddenly, I hear Jesus saying : “ it is finished” and he died. Then my friends carried Jesus to the tomb.
Great editing Marie. By using some conjunctions, your sentences flow more and are easier to read. Brilliant work!
Dear Miss Carruthers
We wrote about our favourite characters in the Tempest.
We uploaded all in “Share Photos and Files”.
Hope it is okay.
Yes, I have received them and enjoyed reading them. It’s hard for me to comment on them on here when we can’t all see it, so if you would like more feedback, could you write a little bit on here? Well done for writing about Ariel and Miranda – they are some of my favourite characters too!
Dear citizens of the world do whatever you want. Here are my only rules.
1. Finley is the king forever.
2. Pizza for lunch and dinner.
3. For drinks everyone gets banana smoothie.
4. For my final rule, chocolate buns for dessert.
Excellent rules Finley, I’m sure you’d be very popular as king!
Could you explain the rules to your citizens a little bit more? Try using some conjunctions (e.g. and, but, or, because, if, that) to extend your sentences.
Of course Miss Carruthers!
Emilia
Ariel is my favourite character.
Ariel is a sweet spirit; he is a young boy with golden skin and white wings on his heels. His voice was like a gentle humming of harp.
Ariel lives on the island with Prospero,Miranda and Caliban.
Ariel and Prospero were plotting against Antonio, Prospero’s brother, because he took over Milan.
Isabella
Miranda is my favourite character.
Miranda is a lovely young woman dressed in white gown. She has dark long red hair.
Miranda fell into a magical sleep under her dad’s spell.
Miranda is Prospero’s daughter.
In the past Caliban tried to kidnap Miranda because he wanted her to be his wife.
Miranda woke up from Prospero’s spell and saw Prince Ferdinando and they fell in love.
Thank you for sharing your work. I’m sure the other children in the class will enjoy reading it as well.
Emilia, you have used lots of wonderful descriptions to describe Ariel. I can really picture him using your description. Lots of your sentences start with ‘Ariel’ – can you think of other ways to start your sentences?
Isabella, you’ve done well to describe what happens to her in the story. Could you describe her character a bit more, what words could you use to describe her?
Well done girls!