English Task
Click here for a printable version of this task
Yesterday you began writing your own story about a teacher arriving into the classroom in an unusual way.
Lots of you made a great start writing your first paragraph and I was able to give you some feedback to improve.
Today’s English focus is:
Published Writing
Task
Today is an opportunity to finish off your story writing from yesterday (if you haven’t already).
Once you have completed your writing, edit your work.
Proofreading and Editing your writing
- Read your work and check it makes sense
- Correct spelling mistakes
- Correct missing punctuation: check your inverted commas carefully
Once you have edited your work, write your final draft in your best handwriting with all of the corrections.
Then, write your first name on your work and upload a photo of it. I will add it to the gallery, where I can give you feedback.
You can upload your work here or email the office.
I look forward to reading your AMAZING finished pieces!
Challenge
Read your classmates writing from the gallery and write a comment about their work on the blog. It will be valuable to review and feedback on your class mates work!
Hello Miss Jones
this is the first part of my story from yesterday as I didnt have time to write it yesterday on the blog , i will also send the picture :
It was Monday morning , it was pouring with rain and it was everyone’s first day back at school after Christmas . Everyone was very excited to start school again.
Emi was spraying Ophelia with her brand new spray bottle. Eugenia and Penelope were giggling and talking about Eugenia’s little sister while Chloe H was showing off her new bow. It was getting louder and louder so then Miss Hector shouted “settle down Year 3, now get out your white board out and write all of your Six timetables. But then Orla raised her hand and said “Where is Miss Jones?” “Oh she’s probably late” said Miss Casey. Then Leonardo bent down at Patrick and asked “Why is Miss jones not here?” “I have no idea” said Patrick but then someone popped out of the door
Well done Penelope! I’ve just finished reading your finished piece. You have worked hard, super handwriting. Your story was very creative and I liked how I had brought broomsticks for everyone to fly on! ⭐️
Chapter 2 – A Sickening Slug
Maria Cup was also looking confused and went to a little pale. Then Mr Gone got out half a red recorder and started to play an eerie tune. The purple portal started to suck us all in. Soon enough I found myself on a purple platform and all my class mates looking hypnotized. Mr Gone crackled an evil laugh and took us away to what looked like a mine. He then shouted, ‘This is my Amethyist mine and you are my slaves – get working! Ha, ha ha!’. Mr Gone took off his old shabby clothes and put on a purple necklace with his half a red recorder hanging from it. Now we were basically amethyist slug slaves.. weak and still hypnotized.
Chapter 3 – A Blue Suprise
Hours later when everyone was asleep I got up and quietly crept towards the portal but then, I guess, I stood on Mr Gone’s face, who was also sleeping. Even evil invokers need to sleep. He told me I need to get to work even though it was 2 in the morning. After another 8 hours of mining amethyists I found the back half of a blue recorder underneath my pickaxe. I threw it carelessly into the purple portal. So yeah, you get the point that I made an enormous mistake.
Chapter 4 – Escape is Here!
The blue recorder woke everyone up because when it went into the portal it started to make a whooshing sound. Everyone in the mine was flabbergasted by this sound and became un-hypnotized. Now my team of goodies was almost ready. But I knew that we needed a grown-up.
Out of nowhere a blue portal appeared and another man came out. As he came out he said, ‘I am Mr Here and I am here to help you’. I knew by now that this had to be the good guy. Mr Here said, ‘What’s going on? Oh, it’s you Mr Go’.
‘It’s Mr GONE’ replied Mr Gone angrily.
‘So back in your amethyist mine aren’t you. Well, too bad ‘cos there is one thing here that I need, a blue half of a recorder!’. I knew that move was stupid so I admitted it. The whole class ran towards the portal where I had thrown the half blue recorder and Mr Gone dropped his half red recorder and it went into the portal as well. I was the first in the portal and saw it happen, the two recorder halves combined into one purple recorder.
Chapter 5 – Revenge
I picked up the purple recorder and went back through the portal and gave it to Mr Here and told everyone to cover their ears and Mr Here played Mr Gone’s tune backwards. It sounded very sweet that way. Then I saw Mr Gone getting crushed by all the amethyist falling on him. And our day was back to normal in the classroom. Mr Gone was gone. And Mr Here was here. He became the music teacher in the school.
After this adventure and escape everyone felt so relieved to be alive.
The End
Wow Julian, super effort! I can see you had fun writing your story! You have included lots of brilliant vocabulary. You were able to build up suspense, I really hoped everyone would get back safely and I’m glad they did! Well done ⭐️
Hi Miss Jones this is my story.
It was Monday Morning, it was pouring with rain, and it was everyone’s first day back at school since Christmas. Sebastian and Samuel were arguing about whether the Ferrari la Ferrari or the Lamborghini Gallardo was better ,then they started reading books about cars. Clemence, Angie, Penelope and Chloe were spraying their spray bottles at each other and were discussing who they thought the new teacher
Everyone was in the dingy basement music room having lessons with Mr Rees. Unexpectedly the lights turned off, every fell onto the drums and pianos, making a racket. CRASH BANG WALLOP! The lights suddenly flickered on again and a woman with heavy layers of makeup and a golden, antique broom stick was standing next to the drum kit. She was dressed in a short black and green dress and introduced herself by saying “Hello Year 3 I am your new teacher,Mrs Windergast the witch.” Everyone was shocked and some of them thought they were dreaming and started pinching themselves to check. Everyone started whispering and staring at her discretely.
“What are you waiting for? Go to class, our first lesson is potions,” she said. Once they were in the classroom, Mrs Windergast told them they would make a teddy bear. She ordered the children to go and get fluxweed, knotgrass, lacewing flies and leeches but they came back with slugs instead of leeches. Mrs Windergast was distracted by Penelope who was playing her pig pencil case and did not notice. She got out her cauldron added the children’s ingredients, some acid and water and muttered “Double, double, toil and trouble, fire burn and cauldron bubble, fluxweed, knotgrass, lacewing flies, add a few a leeches and teddy bear before our eyes,”.
The children were gathered around the cauldron waiting for the teddy bear to appear but instead a little demon popped its head out and all of the potion evaporated. The children started to run away but the demon was faster than them, it went on a mad rampage and bit everyone except Mrs Windergast. “OH NO,” she shouted as she yanked the wand from her handbag and cast a spell. “DEATH TO DEMON’S,” she cried. Suddenly the demon vanished. Miss Coleman thanked Mrs Windergast and she flew away on her magic broomstick never to be seen again. The children were amazed. They told everyone and all the residents in the town built a enormous stone statue of Mrs Windergast in the town hall to thank her for saving the children.
THE END
Super effort Orla, you have worked hard! Your story is very imaginative! Well done for using lots of speech and using inverted commas correctly. Where on earth did Mrs Windergast get all of those strange ingredients for the potion?! ⭐️
Chapter 2 – Chapter 3 the big trip – wizard mania
The teacher didn’t come for 1 hour we had to go on our school trip. I left a message for the new teacher incase he came in.
We went to go site seeing but we had to travel on an airplane it was 4 hours but we made it and we walked to mount Everest because that was where we were going . I was so tired but we were there when I got tired. We all went up the mountain but only half way and we all got stuck suddenly I heard dramatic music.
Meanwhile the new teacher found the message. He flew on an airplane and came. We were in relief and suddenly it turned dark and he flew up into the air and from the sky came a voice saying “Carter” and suddenly he turned into a wizard and said. “I am Carter the wise”. His suit came on, his wand and his magical broom he flew up and saved us all. All of us went back to school and was told never to bring this up. when I woke up I thought it was all a dream or was it (lights flickering). a wizardry end .
Well done Chloe K, your story leads us on a busy adventure! That’s a long way for a school trip! I am glad Carter could save everyone. Don’t forget to read over your writing and check for mistakes. ⭐️
Hello Miss Jones
This is the second part and end of my story :
“Ahh” shouted the children. The person who came out of the door looked like Miss Jones , in fact it was Miss Jones but just as a witch ! And just then she started to ride on a flying broomstick. So then Miss Rossellini said “Are you Miss Jones?” “Of course I am Miss Jones, what were you thinking?” she said. “Now class 3, I have lined up 30 broomsticks for us to fly on” Then Miss Hector whispered to Miss Viera “This is very weird , usually we do Maths first” she said “well maybe someone gave her a kind of magic potion to transform her into a witch” said Miss Viera “Well what are you waiting for?” said Miss Hector “to the Science lab”. And then they started walking away, until Miss Viera said “Stop, don’t we need to tell the other teachers ?” “Oh yes I nearly forgot” said Miss Hector “Miss Rossellini, Miss Caisey , we are going to the Science Lab to find a potion while you stay in the class”. Miss Caisey said “ok” . And then Miss Viera and Miss Hector set off.
So now they needed to find the right ingredients for the potion. “So we need to find sone green slime, a dinosaur fossil, bird feathers and purple slime. then mix it altogether ” said Miss Viera. “It also says we have to say a magic sentence” said Miss Hector. “What is it? ” asked Miss Viera. “Turn Miss Jones as she was before, not a witch but a human” said Miss Hector. “Dring dring” “oh Miss Casey is calling me” . “Yes ? OK We will be there in a minute”. But what Miss Casey was really saying was that their potion had worked and Miss Jones was back to normal. “Let’s go” said Miss Hector . When they arrived back in the classroom, there was the normal Miss Jones and the children were very happy . THE END
Super Penelope, I have given you feedback above.
Clemence, well done on completing your story. I like how you’ve used lots of the original characters and written the story in your own way! You have used lots of direct speech which makes your writing even more interesting to read, well done. ⭐️
Jiana, great effort with your writing. Good girl for using some direct speech too! Wow 101 steps is a lot to count! It made me laugh when class three entered the classroom and the teachers were dancing in their pyjamas! Don’t forget to read over and check your punctuation. ⭐️
Good effort Louis, I can see you have tried hard with your handwriting! You have used some lovely description, I like your sentence ‘the lights were flashing and the wind was blowing.’ I wonder what Mr potter will be like! ⭐️
Well done Sebastian! I can see you have edited and written your handwriting in your best writing. Mr Rudder sounds like a fun teacher, I love how he is so tiny! ⭐️
Helena, well done! I love how Taylor Swift is your new teacher, how fun would that be! Well done for adding direct speech and using inverted commas correctly ⭐️
Well done Alex! I like how you included lots of comments from different children in the classroom! I wonder if Miss Jones will turn up?! Keep up the good work. ⭐️
Well done Emi for completing your writing task. The prank you wrote about made me chuckle! Next time, remember to use paragraphs, this will help structure your writing. ⭐️
Great effort Celestine! You have included a lot of detail and description in your writing. I liked the part when the children poured a bucket of water over Bruno to try and wake him up! ⭐️
This is my story from yesterday part 2.
The children did a water prank on Mr potter and blamed it on the new teacher. The next day Mr potter came in to school in a grumpy mood and said that the school was shutting down. Everyone said, “Yyyyyyeeeeeesssss!” Mr Majeika said “Oh don’t be silly your just faking,” Mr potter said “No I’m not!” then Mr Majeika said ”wwwwwhhhhaaaattttt! I have just came to teach.” Mr potter said that it was just his business. Mr Majeika grabbed his bag and dashed and all the children’s parents came.
I hope you like my story.
Chapter 2
It was the next day and Mr Majeika taught Maths,English, Science, Geography and Music! “This is fun “ I said, “Are you a genie?” I asked Mr Majeika. He didn’t say yes or no. When we were doing Music the teacher that was new came and Mr Potter said “You are fired!” So the new teacher left. Mr Potter said I am so sorry for disturbing your lesson. When it was music we got to listen to different types of music and it was fun! On the last song we got to dance and everyone loved it. The Year 2 teacher came and said they didn’t want to share lessons with Class Three. Year 3 said they were just babies! Year 2 got upset because year 3 said they were babies. “It doesn’t mean that Year 3 are older than Year 2 so be kind,” I said. The Year 2 teacher left and Mr Potter came up and spoke to Mr Majeika. He said Mr Majeika was a good teacher and should be the teacher all the time. “Thank you for letting me teach them,” Mr majeika said. “To finish you guys can go out because it’s break time and it’s sunny outside.” So everyone left and went to break! When it was break, Mr Majeika said “I quit!” School was cancelled! Everyone ran out and screamed yeah!!! To be continued…
Great effort Graceanne! Lots happens in your story! I like how you included some parts of the original story but made it your own. Remember to read over and correct mistakes. ⭐️
Well done Gabriella! You have thought carefully about what happens next. Well done for using lots of direct speech, just make sure you include all of the inverted commas next time, I have corrected these for you. ⭐️
Karolina great effort with your writing. Your handwriting is lovely! Well done for including lots of direct speech and inverted commas in your writing. ⭐️
Well done Chloe H for completing your writing. There is certainly lots of magical things that happen, it would be interesting if I had pink hair in real life wouldn’t it! ⭐️
Well done Samuel, I love how the snail used oil to loosen the nails so he could get through the door! Well done for adding in some good description about what was happening in the classroom. ⭐️
Great writing Ethan, you have used commas really well in your piece. I love how there was steam coming out of Mr Longbottom’s ears, he must have really been cross! ⭐️
Great effort with your writing Matthias. Well done for presenting it so well. It was interesting to read on to find out what Michael did, he was brave! ⭐️
Well done with your writing Eugenia! I like how you included familiar characters and I’m in your story! You have used lots of direct speech, this makes your writing interesting. ⭐️
Well done Samuel on writing your next chapter! I love how you have included lots of minibeasts and made your story funny! Well done ⭐️