English Task

Click HERE for a printable version of this task

Yesterday you began writing your stories about Rabbit and Bears adventure and what happened next with Castor.

Lots of you made a great start writing your first paragraph and I was able to give you some feedback to improve.

Today’s English focus is:

Published Writing

Task

Today is an opportunity to finish off your writing from yesterday (if you haven’t already).

Once you have completed your writing, edit your work. Use the checklist below to help you.

Think back to your punctuation task on Tuesday and put on your detective hat to read over your own sentences and correct them.

Once you have edited your work, write your final draft in your best handwriting with all of the corrections or your can type it on the blog.

Then, write your first name on your work and upload a photo of it. I will add it to the gallery, where I can give you feedback.

I look forward to reading your amazing finished pieces!

Challenge

Read your friends letters and write some feedback about it on the blog!

37 comments on “English Task – Published Writing 19.6.20

  1. I finished every blog at 7:30

  2. Miss Jones says:

    Impressive Louis!!
    Good effort with completing your task. Remember the more detail you add to your writing the more interesting it will be Louis 🙂

  3. Miss Jones says:

    A great story Helena, I like the plan for the other animals to create the leak! You have a clear story structure and have included some lovely description too. Well done 🙂

  4. ..very familiar trees.

    Rabbit started to shake uncontrollably saying “those trees.. they look..”. Rabbit couldn’t find the word, he was shaking too much! Bear was also startled at the sight of the dam as he’d never seen one before. He said ” Did you.. get rid of those trees… for that?”, pointing at the dam. Castor replied “Well it’s engineering, what more could you want?”.
    Rabbit started hoping back to his burrow when Bear pushed Castor into his own dam, destroying it and causing a colossal flood. Castor groaned with pain but managed to run towards Bear. But he slipped on the mud and fell into the flood and floated away from the neighborhood, never to be seen again.
    Meanwhile, in his cave, Bear was not very happy because it was now an under water cave. Rabbit soon came hopping along and said that when she got to her burrow she had just enough time to get her belongings out before it submerged.
    Over the course of many weeks the stream disappeared and Bear and
    Rabbit lived happily in their dry houses for the rest of their days.

  5. Miss Jones says:

    Excellent story ideas Julian. You have continued the story well with a clear structure. You have used a great range of vocabulary!
    Well done 🙂

  6. Clémence says:

    Good morning Miss,
    I have not seen what I did yesterday on the blog. Yesterday was a disaster. I did it twice in a row as it didn’t work. I have sent my work.

  7. Miss Jones says:

    Clemence, sorry to hear this happened! Thank you for uploading your work! Super effort with your story, you have used lots of direct speech to make your writing interesting. Remember to describe what is happening too and discuss the characters feelings. Well done 🙂

  8. Hi miss Jones I forgot that I did my whole story already but I’m going to do another one with more of the characters feelings I’m going to send a picture of my work.

  9. Miss Jones says:

    That’s okay Chloe K, your story was great, you can just add more to it as you publish your work. I look forward to reading your finished piece.

  10. Hello Miss Jones, finished.

  11. Miss Jones says:

    Great effort Matthias, you joined handwriting is super!
    Well done for adding in dialogue between the characters. To make your writing even better, you could add in more description about the setting.

  12. Well done Helena! Your story was nearly the same as me!I find it really good because the animals are discouraging the Castor to build his dam!

  13. Miss Jones says:

    Well done Eugenia! You have a clear structure and storyline. I like your creative ideas too! Remember to use paragraphs next time 🙂

  14. gabriella says:

    Bear rabbit and castor were stuck in a forest.
    The forest started shaking and falling Bear rabbit and castor were running but rabbits foot got stuck and rabbit fell down and shouted “run!” bear said “noooooooooooooooo” castor lost bear and got stuck and bear was lost.

    The end
    Hope you like it miss

  15. Miss Jones says:

    A good finish Gabriella, well done! I enjoyed reading all of your story. Remember to check over your sentences and make sure you add in missing punctuation.

  16. Hi Miss Jones.
    This is my work that I done for English.
    They followed the castor around the bend. Just where their stream flowed into the lake. It was blocked by a dam made of trees. The castor was very familiar with the trees when they were blowing away. The castor ran away.

  17. Miss Jones says:

    A good effort Johnny, I can see you have checked over your punctuation. Remember to write about what happened to Castor and the other animals. 🙂

  18. Grace Anne says:

    When they saved the forest it was night time so everyone they went to bed and heard a noise ! But it was making a Ghost noice they got scared. They looked and looked and they saw it was a Ghost they got scared.

    Then Rabbit said “we should chase it away into the lake!”

    So they said to Rabbit “ you was right we saved the Forest again”.

  19. Miss Jones says:

    Good effort Graceanne, well done for continuing to write your story today. Remember to read over your writing and check you have included all of the important parts 🙂

  20. Ophelia? says:

    Hi Miss,
    This is the end of my story.

    Rabbit finally agreed. “But only for a little bit” he said sternly. “Thank you,thank you ” Castor cried. Castor immediately set to work. “Right he said ” Bear you carry the wood and I’ll chop and place. “What about me?” asked Rabbit. “Oh, I forgot about you ” said Castor “but you don’t even want to help”. “I changed my mind” said Rabbit. “Fine” said Castor “you can place the wood.Rabbit soon found that working with Castor wasn’t so bad.The dame was quickly finished.,and then Castor’s family came over to the new house.They said it was a lovely dam.”Thanks”, said Castor but I couldn’t have done it without Rabbit and Bear .
    ? THE END ?

  21. ‘What did you just said Castor?’ asked loudly Bear. ” N… n… nothing” answered Beaver with a scared voice. Suddenly Woodpecker bumped in and said quickly ”Rabbit is gone, gone, gone!!!”. ” Gone?” cried Bear. ”Yes, gone with the…” said Woodpecker, ”Shhhhhhhh. I can hear some-thing” whispered quietly Bear. ” What is it?” asked Beaver. ” I can se Trolls. Evil heary Trolls” answered Bear. Suddenly
    Bear realized that Rabbit was holding his fur. Woodpecker, Beaver, Rabbit and Bear turned around so they can get out of the Dark Forest. they run as fast as they could. Finally they got out. ” It was quite scary” said Bear ” After all that dangerous adventure, how about we go to have some tea in my Cave?” Everyone said ”Yes!!!”

  22. Miss Jones says:

    Great effort Chloe H! Well done for reading over and checking your punctuation 🙂 Keep up the good work.

  23. Miss Jones says:

    Great effort Ophelia, you have included lots of dialogue in your story to make it interesting. When you use inverted commas, remember to include your punctuation mark before adding your ending inverted commas, for example:
    “Fine,” said Castor. 🙂

  24. Miss Jones says:

    Great effort Celestine! You have added in some super detail to your writing, well done for including lots of dialogue and describing how the characters were feeling. 🙂

  25. Miss Jones says:

    Great effort Ethan, well done for structuring your writing by using paragraphs. You have included some exciting vocabulary! To make it even better next time, have a go at joining your handwriting 🙂

  26. Miss Jones says:

    Well done Penelope, your spelling is super! You have included important details in your writing and tell the story clearly. I can see you had read over your work to check you have included everything, well done.

  27. Miss Jones says:

    Well done Sebastian, I enjoyed reading your creative writing about what happened to Castor, you have included some lovely detail. It made me want to find out more!

  28. They followed Castor round the bend. Just where their stream usually followed it was blocked by a dam made of logs from very familiar strong trees. Bear noticed his scratching tree and ran to it. He started scratching his back on the tree but he made logs fall. The water crashed loudly through the dam and Castor started running after them so they ran to a tree and climbed it.
    Castor was chewing the bottom of the tree but the tree fell on him. He got injured. His back was broken which meant he couldn’t move. This was bad news for the hairy beaver because it meant he couldn’t continue making the dam. Castor was screaming loudly so a sloth came silently swinging from a tree towards them. He was so slow they could just walk away if they wanted to. The sloth’s name was Kevin. He saw Castor on the floor and Bear and Rabbit lifting up the tree and moving it. Luckily Kevin could help because he is very strong so he helped slowly lift the tree.

  29. Miss Jones says:

    Great effort Patrick! I can see you have read over and checked your work carefully for spelling and punctuation 🙂 You have written some creative ideas!

  30. Karolina says:

    Alina sighed and said “well it all started like this all of us were cuting the trees.Then suddenly we heard a strange sound we where so scard ,then we was run away to different directions,that’s all what l remember and l raced back to tell you that”.
    “It must have been awful ,said Woodpecker “yes, yes ,yes it was awful ” Alina said.
    So Bear,Rabbit,Woodpecker,Raven and Castor followed Alina were the strange voice was coming from ,”this is the place were we heard the scary noise Sir,”said Alina.Then a creacher was racing through the Castor”Aaaahhhhh” it, said Castor .”Sir, l heard the noise it..it..it was so scarey”.lt turned out that it was a another beaver it’s name was Max. Suddenly a shining and funny looking snake slivering around. “Hello”, said snake .”That’s is that sound Sir”,said Max “.”How are you doing”?.My name is Sunny they call me that because of my shinging bright scales,” said the snake “.Hello my name is Alina this is Max,Raven and this is our boss Castor. I am Bear and this is Rabbit and Woodpecker.”Hello Sunny we like your beautiful and shininy scales,”said Rabbit and Bear “Thank you”,said Sunny.”We have a problem can you help us Sunny?,”said Woodpecker “yes of corse ,what is the problem,” said Sunny.So Raven said ,”well we nead to cut 28 trees” ,”28 trees it’s soundes like a big job ,said Sunny “we know”,said Woodpecker,Bear and Rabbit.”What do you need them for?” ,ask Sunny.”We need them to build a biger and better dam”,said Max. “l think 8 big trees will be enought to cut down”, said Sunny.”What do you think Cartor?”.Maby it is a good idea and we can try,”said Bear. O.k ,said Cartor “it lookes like we have a plan”,said Sunny to Cartor and his team.
    AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPY EVER AFTER.

  31. Miss Jones says:

    Chloe K and Emi and your work didn’t upload properly, please send through again if you would like some feedback, thank you! 🙂

  32. Miss Jones says:

    Super effort Alex! I like how much description you added into your writing, it made it interesting to read 🙂 Well done.

  33. Karolina says:

    Alina sighed and said “well it all started like this all of us were cuting the trees.Then suddenly we heard a strange sound we where so scard ,then we was run away to different directions,that’s all what l remember and l raced back to tell you that”.
    “It must have been awful ,said Woodpecker “yes, yes ,yes it was awful ” Alina said.
    So Bear,Rabbit,Woodpecker,Raven and Castor followed Alina were the strange voice was coming from ,”this is the place were we heard the scary noise Sir,”said Alina.Then a creacher was racing through the Castor”Aaaahhhhh” it, said Castor .”Sir, l heard the noise it..it..it was so scarey”.lt turned out that it was a another beaver it’s name was Max. Suddenly a shining and funny looking snake slivering around. “Hello”, said snake .”That’s is that sound Sir”,said Max “.”How are you doing”?.My name is Sunny they call me that because of my shinging bright scales,” said the snake “.Hello my name is Alina this is Max,Raven and this is our boss Castor. I am Bear and this is Rabbit and Woodpecker.”Hello Sunny we like your beautiful and shininy scales,”said Rabbit and Bear “Thank you”,said Sunny.”We have a problem can you help us Sunny?,”said Woodpecker “yes of corse what is the problem,” said Sunny.So Raven, said “well we nead to cut 28 trees” ,”28 trees it’s soundes like a big job ,said Sunny “we know”,said Woodpecker,Bear and Rabbit.”What do you kneed them for?” ,ask Sunny.”We need them to build a biger and better dam”,said Max. “l think 8 big trees will be enought to cut down”, said Sunny.”What do you think Cartor?”.Maby it is a good idea and we can try,”said Bear. O.k ,said Cartor “it lookes like we have a plan”,said Sunny to Cartor and his team.
    AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPY EVER AFTER.

  34. Miss Jones says:

    Great effort Karolina! You have used lots of dialogue to make your writing interesting! I like how you added some of your own characters too 🙂

  35. ????? ??? says:

    “I’m going to create a big city residents of our forest”.” And we should start with the construction the Power Station” said Castor. “Don’t be silly!” replied Engineer Castor. The Power Station will provide us with electricity, which means we’ll be able to build plants and factories. Then we’ll construct beautiful houses and a lot more wonderful places to have fun! said Castor showing them the bark with the plan on it. That sounds promising! Let’s get started straight away! said Bear impatiently. Come on! said all of them energetically. Firstly, they put planted gum trees to replace cut trees. Eucalyptus trees grew rapidly and gave our Pioneer Station. It didn’t polluiquetune the air in the forest or water in the lake. They managed to create unique houses to live -in, schools and universities to get knowledge, shining cinemas, theaters, museums and art galleries to entertain, swimming pools and sport centers to keep fit and healthy. It was a perfect city!

  36. Miss Jones says:

    Wow Angie, I can see you have thought through your sentences carefully! You have included some interesting vocabulary and used lots of description in your story, well done.

  37. Miss Jones says:

    Good effort completing your story Jiana! Well done for using dialogue, don’t forget to include all of your inverted commas 🙂

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